AthenaKTT (athenaktt) wrote in vsaj_online,
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1x09 Home


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Lieutenant Aiden Ford

Day 15 - Entry 1
This is way cool! These Hazmat suits makes me feel like I’m in an episode of The X-Files. I’m going to irritate McKay and shine the flashlight in his face. *bg*

Day 15 - Entry 2
Major Sheppard gave me permission to annoy McKay in the briefing room today. Hazzah! *starts asking stupid questions*

Day 15 - Entry 3
Dammit! I’m stuck going to Fog World with McKay. I knew I shouldn’t have laughed at McKay’s Hazmat hair joke. *headdesk*

Day 15 - Entry 4
How much longer do I have to squat here watching McKay talk to himself? My legs hurt. All this fog is covering my prettiness from the camera. *boreds*

Day 15 - Entry 5
We are going home!!! Grandma! Grandpa! I miss you!!!

Day 15 - Entry 6
WTF?! I disappear for half of the episode and they want to send me to Antarctica?! I should’ve stayed in Pegasus. *headwall*

Day 15 – Entry 7
McKay is a meanie. *mimics McKay* “Just deal with it.” Fine I’ll deal with it by becoming a Pizza Boy! Sucka!

Day 15 – Entry 8
Everything was a dream?!! I could have ruled the world with my prettiness if I had known! *facepalm*



Major John Sheppard

Day 18 - Entry 1
Stupid Hazmat suits... Now I have Hazmat hair. Stupid McKay making us walk gabillion miles to see NOTHING! *kicks McKay*

Day 18 – Entry 2
OMG! Rodney said we can go back to Earth! Hm... Do I want to go back? *deep thoughts*

Day 18 – Entry 3
Er, did Rodney say he was going to take apart our Stargate? I was too busy Eyefucking Weir. *bg*

Day 18 – Entry 4
OMG Squee! Elizabeth came and asked me to stay... sorta, I think... Wait, did I just Squee again?! *facepalm*

Day 18 – Entry 5
Crap, Teyla is stalking me again. I’ll talk about Earth stuff to confuse her.

Day 18 – Entry 6
We are going home! Where am I going to stay? I’m homeless. Maybe I could crash at Elizabeth’s place. D'oh! She’s not going. *headdesk*

Day 18 – Entry 7
Bah, I’m stuck on Earth with Teyla. I guess I’ll have to show her around. I wish Elizabeth came back too... =(

Day 18 – Entry 8
How to distract Teyla? I know shopping!

Day 18 - Entry 9
I have been sitting in this car for hours! I am an idiot for suggest shopping to a woman. *headwindow repeatedly*

Day 18 - Entry 10
Der, Teyla just asked me what slutty meant... I told her she chose a nice outfit...

Day 18 – Entry 11
Niiicee! I guess I’m not homeless after all. I have a sweet bachelor pad! And I’ve got a random pineapple on my kitchen counter and cold beer. This is unreal! I swear I’m not giving away the rest of the plot...

Day 18 - Entry 12
Teyla really knows how to chug her beer. I wonder if Elizabeth could chug a beer and dress like that. *thinks hard* Dammit! It didn’t work. This fantasy sucks!

Day 18 – Entry 13
OMGWTF?!!mylitteflutterponies!!! Mitch and Dex are alive! This fantasy just got worse. *headbeerbottle*

Day 18 - Entry 14
Why is it that I can get Ford to bring pizza, but I can’t conjure up Elizabeth chugging down beer in a bikini? What gives?! *throws hands up*

Day 18 – Entry 15
How to make a happening party die in 2 seconds flat #521: Tell your guests they died years ago and then shoot them.

Day 18 – Entry 16
Aw... my imaginary beer is gone! *sads* But Elizabeth is here, yay! This fantasy still sucks. because she is still fully dressed.

Day 18 - Entry 17
Ouch! Elizabeth just pinched me to make sure this was our reality. I thought the normal protocol was the pinch oneself. *eyefucks glare*



Rodney McKay

Day 16 - Entry 1
I hate Hazmat suits! I hate Hazmat suits! I think I’m claustrophobic... I’m going to die from discomfort. *headfog* Ooh! Strong energy readings. Is Major Sheppard shining the flashlight in my face?! Bastard.

Day 16 – Entry 2
*points and laugh at Sheppard* HAZMAT HAIR! Ahahahhahah!

Day 16 – Entry 3
Dear Strong Energy Readings,

You LIE! There is NOTHING here! Just FOG!

No love,
Doctor I’m-going-to-suffocate-in-this-Hazmat-suit

Day 16 – Entry 4
Dear Strong Energy Readings,

I take my last entry back. Fog that provides energy to open a wormhole to Earth is my friend.

Giddily yours,
Doctor OMG-We-Can-go-back-to-Earth!

Day 16 – Entry 5
WTF?! What is today? Pick on Rodney day?! Everyone is badgering me with idiotic questions! I work with IMBECILES!!

Day 16 – Entry 6
The fuck? Sheppard needs to stop spouting out random numbers. Freak. I’m not jealous. *stinkeyes Sheppard*

Day 16 – Entry 7
I am a genius. I found a way for us to go home. I am TEH GENIUS!! Bow before me! RWAR! I miss my cat. *woobies*

Day 16 – Entry 8
WTF?! I spent over half a year in another galaxy and only General Hammond greets us? Where’s Colonel Carter the love of my life??

Day 16 - Entry 9
Dried dead plants. $10.00. Alien toys all over the place. $42.00. Outer Limits on TV. $34.00. No messages... $I-have-no-friends.00. Stale six-month old chips. $1.49. Home sweet home. Priceless. For everything else there’s MasterCard.

Day 16 – Entry 10
OMG! Hot brunette neighbor is at my door! What do I do?! What do I do?! *flails*

Day 16 - Entry 11
Nothing like having your boss see you in your boxers. *facepalm* Hm... I wonder if she noticed...

Day 16 - Entry 12
We are stuck on earth??! OMG! Nooooooooo! Wait, being on earth should be a good thing... No Wraiths. No! Atlantis needs me. I am their genius!

Day 16 – Entry 13
OMG! Yo! General Baldy let me work on the ZPM, so I can go back to Atlantis! RWAR!

Day 16 – Entry 14
Bing tiddle tiddle bong! I work with IDIOTS!! *headdesk* WTF?! Did I just see a dancing hamster?! *dies*

Day 16 – Entry 15
Ahhh, even Elizabeth is acting funny! ZOMG! I’m going out of my mind! *headdesk*

Day 16 – Entry 16
When physics is wrong, I get very, very, very ANGRY! RWAR! *smashes ZedPM and goes postal*

Day 16 – Entry 17
None of this is real?! OMG! That means I haven’t eat for a day?! I’m a dead man. Remember “Hide and Seek” anyone? *faints*

Day 16 - Entry 18
OMG! Everyone needs to stop pinching me! I’m starving! I’m sure we are in our own reality! Ouch! Who pinched me again?! Hateful.



Teyla Emmagan

Day 15 - Entry 1
This Hazmat suit is very uncomfortable and unattractive. I haven’t been this covered up since the pilot! I’ll have to make up for all this covering up later and dress like an Earth skank.

Day 15 – Entry 2
Oh no! Major Sheppard might want to return to Earth and leave me. My love, you can’t leave me here! *sobs*

Day 15 - Entry 3
He didn’t mention about a loved one back at Earth. I still have hope! Squee! And he wants to take me along! *hyperventilates* Why is he more excited about getting more popcorn than my companionship? *headdesk*

Day 15 - Entry 4
I’m going with Major Sheppard to his home world!! Maybe he’ll introduce me to his parents... Then marry me. Then we’ll have children! OMG! *Glees!*

Day 15 - Entry 5
Major Sheppard returned for me in the infirmary. He must truly love me! He wants to buy me a new outfit! Earth clothes! Must pick something to show some skin. *strikes a pose*

Day 15 - Entry 6
Shopping is fun! Look at all these items I bought! I wonder if my outfit shows enough skin. I’ve never worn heels before, but I’m going to buy these ‘slutty’ four-inch heels to compliment my outfit. I wonder what ‘slutty’ means?

Day 15 - Entry 7
This beer, I like. Why is Major Sheppard standing on the other side of the room thinking of Doctor Weir? *drinks more beer*

Day 15 – Entry 8
OMG! Major Sheppard has gone crazy and shot his friend! I can’t love a krazee man! *flails*

Day 15 – Entry 9
Aww... my revealing outfit is gone. *pout* I’ll have to make a revealing outfit for my next workout with Major Sheppard. *evil grin*



Doctor Elizabeth Weir

Day 16 - Entry 1
John leaning back draping his arm over the chair... Mmmm sexy. RWAR! *eyefucks Sheppard*

Day 16 – Entry 2
OMG! Nothing is HAWTER then a man reading War and Peace! RAR! We’ll talk about going home later. *jumps Sheppard*

Day 16 – Entry 3
Yay! Sheppard doesn’t want to leave me Atlantis AND he wants me to stay! *squees*

Day 16 – Entry 4
OMGYAY! We can go back to Earth and come back to Atlantis! Crap, now I have to break up with Simon in person. *headdesk*

Day 16 – Entry 5
Is it just me or does General Hammond suck like smelly donkey balls? We can’t abandon Atlantis!! The Wraith are coming! *shakes fists*

Day 16 - Entry 6
I’m home! I know Simon misses me, but does he have to mess up my hair when we hug?? I spent hours for my hair to curl like that! Wait a second... is Simon attempting to fix a Masarati? OMG! There better not be grease on his hands!

Day 16 – Entry 7
Sedge! My doggie! I missed my doggie!

Day 16 – Entry 8
Simon gave me a necklace. I guess I’ll make out with him before I dump him again...

Day 16 – Entry 9
Argh! Simon really needs to stop messing up my hair!! That’s it making out time is OVER! Ooh, saved by the cell phone.

Day 16 – Entry 10
Who was the idiot that esploded the Prometheus?? I can’t stay on Earth. I need to go back to Atlantis. I need Sheppard!! And he doesn’t mess up my hair when we make out.

Day 16 – Entry 11
I miss John. *sigh* Uh oh, Simon is coming with coffee. *hides journal*

Day 16 – Entry 12
They can’t reassess Atlantis! I’m the Boss!! I should have brought my “I’M THE BOSS” sign with me. *facepalm*

Day 16 – Entry 13
WTF? Sheppard agreed to militarize Atlantis? I don’t buy it. I know, because we share the JohnLizzie Psychic connection through Eyefucking! RWAR!!

Day 16 – Entry 14
I knew it! This isn’t real! Rodney doesn’t know about Simon. He shouldn’t! He should only know about that one time John and I... er... that’s another story.

Day 16 – Entry 15
Er, I’m talking to mist in the form of General Hammond. *pinches self* This is only a dream... right? *pinches self again* Owie!

Day 16 – Entry 16
Oh, thank God this isn’t real, because I know Simon doesn’t look that good anymore... Lalalalala

Day 16 – Entry 17
Is this real? Pinched myself the first time that didn’t work. I’ll pinch Sheppard instead. He can’t do anything to me, because I’m the boss! Haha! *points and laughs*



Simon Wallis

Day 2 – Entry 1
Why am I working on a Masarati? I thought I was a doctor... That’s right I’m not real... I’m a figment of Elizabeth’s imagination. Because the real me is nastier looking. See “Intruder”.

Day 2 – Entry 2
For some reason, I think Elizabeth misses Sedge more than she misses me. I can’t compete with pets anymore!! I want a woman to love ME!! Not the pets!! That’s right I’m still not real... *headdesk*

Day 2 – Entry 3
This sucks. Elizabeth doesn’t even want to make out with the imaginary me. She must be having an affair with someone else. That h0r!

Day 2 – Entry 4
Elizabeth mentioned a Major Sheppard, he must be the “new guy.” *hates on Sheppard even if I’m not real*



Sergeant Walter Harriman

Day 1 – Entry 1
Heh. My first Atlantis cameo and I call Doctor Weir a liar... almost, and I’m not even real. *las*

Day 1 – Entry 2
Oh! You actually see my face this time! Hee! Cameo!! *hops around*



General George Hammond

Day 1 – Entry 1
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I’m fake Hammond. Nothing I say really makes any sense.

Day 1 – Entry 2
OMG! McKay needs to STFU! Nothing he says makes any sense to me. I’m just mist! *fogdesk*

Day 1 – Entry 3
Damn, they figured out they weren’t on Earth. Damn plot holes! *headdesk*



Wormhole

Day 5 – Entry 1
I’m a lean green wormhole machine... er, yeah.

Day 5 – Entry 2
I’m still green, but I look different. Who knows why? Dun dun dun!
Tags: season 1
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