AthenaKTT (athenaktt) wrote in vsaj_online,
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2x01 The Siege - Part 3

Previously on VSAJ – Season 1


Doctor Elizabeth Weir
ZOMG! Sheppard don’t go!! You'll die! Oh, the angst!!!

Doctor Rodney McKay
The Wraith are here! Sheppard is a dead man! I am a dead man!!! *flails*

Major John Sheppard
Der, why did I volunteer on this suicide mission again??? My hair is too pretty to die!!!

Lieutenant Aiden Ford
AHHHH!!! WRAITH ARE EVERYWHERE! OMG! AM I GOING TO DIE???!!

Colonel Dillon Everett
OMFG! The Wraith won’t die and my dinky gun sucks!!! Who thinks I’m a dead man? Raise your hands. *everyone raises hands* Damn.

Doctor Radek Zelenka
I think I’m still in the Jumper bay... all alone! *woobies*

Teyla Emmagan
I have NO IDEA where I am!!! *flails*

Doctor Carson Beckett
Meep! The Wraith are here and Elizabeth won’t leave because Sheppard is about to die!! *sigh* Star-crossed lovers!

Techie Chuck
*flails just for the heck of it*




The Siege – Part 3


Lieutenant Aiden Ford

Day 30 – Entry 3
OMG! I AM GOING TO DIE!!!! >_<

Day 30 – Entry 4
ZOMGBBQ!!!! THE WRAITH IS FEEDING ON ME!!! I’M SO FUCKED!!! *screams*

Day 30 – Entry 5
I can’t die!!!! The episode just started!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! *falls into the freezing cold ocean*

Day 30 – Entry 6
Haha! I’m alive!!! But now I’m not pretty!!! *sobs* I’m all fugly and Quasimodo... *cries* I want to be pretty again!

Day 30 - Entry 7
This must be Sheppard’s plan all along to make me ugly so he can be the pretty one! That attention h0ring bastard! *shakes fist*

Day 30 – Entry 8
RAWR!!! Everyone looks at me like I’m a freak!! Stupid f*ed up eye. I’ll show you all I’m A-OKAY by pinning Beckett against a wall and almost choking him... *facepalm*

Day 30 – Entry 9
Nobody likes me anymore because I’m fugly. *cries*

Day 30 – Entry 10
Because I’m misunderstood I’m going to steal Beckett’s drug stash the enzymes, yo!

Day 30 – Entry 11
Yo, Sheppard. You’re no match for Supa-Ford! I could have totally kicked yo ass just now! Aite?!

Day 30 – Entry 12
OMGWTF?! Sheppard shot me!! That’s it! I’m stealing the Jumper and jetting out of here, yo! So fuck you all! *gives everyone the finger and leaves*



Major John Sheppard

Day 35 – Entry 4
Who the frell is telling me to de-cloak my ship??? OMG! I’m not even dead yet and I’m hearing things! *headconsole*

Day 35 – Entry 5
Beam me up, Scottie! Hehe, I feel like Captain Kirk. Teehee!

Day 35 – Entry 6
Note to Colonel Skinner Caldwell: It is rude to interrupt people from Radio!Sex, so don’t EVAR do it again!!! kthanxbai!

Day 35 – Entry 7
If I can’t have Radio!Sex, Rodney can’t geekgasm over the ZPM. So, Rodney, put the shields up NOW! Rawr!

Day 35 – Entry 8
Our missiles suck! The Wraith are going to win if we don’t think fast! *headdesk*

Day 35 – Entry 9
OMG! There’s actually an Asgard on this ship??? Cool!! A real alien! Not that the Wraith and Teyla aren’t aliens. Lalalalala

Day 35 – Entry 10
OMGBBQSAUCE!!!!111!! The darts are heading towards my girlfriend Atlantis!

Day 35 – Entry 11
Note to Elizabeth: When I call on the radio, for Radio!Sex please answer IMMEDIATELY, AND DON’T EVAR SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!

Day 35 – Entry 12
Honey! I’m home!! *bg*

Day 35 – Entry 13
ZOMGWTF!!!11eleventyone!!!CAREBEARS!!!! Elizabeth HUGGED ME!!! *head esplode* [Shippers: ZOMG! *melts to goo* Me: rhiowqrnpqgh *melts to goo*]

Day 35 – Entry 14
Crap, now I have to go and talk to Colonel Everbutt... Can I just stay here and hug Elizabeth longer??

Day 35 – Entry 15
Dude! Everbutt turned into EverGeezer... o_O

Day 35 – Entry 16
Hee! EverGeezer totally ph33rs me!! Bwhahaha! See, piss me off and I won’t mercy kill you! Rawr!

Day 35 – Entry 17
Note to Zelenka: Yo, push the damn button so we can find Ford! Or Imma pop yo cap, yo!

Day 35 – Entry 18
Der, Did Doc Beckett say Ford is a drug addict should be dead???

Day 35 – Entry 19
ZOMGWTFrappicinoMochaLatte!!! TWELVE MORE HIVE SHIPS????! *headdesk repeatedly*

Day 35 – Entry 20
Huttah!! We’re gonna go blow up TWELVE hive ships with our ONE ship... Why?? Because we can run really fast! *headdesk*

Day 35 – Entry 21
Damn, the Wraith jammed us. Why didn’t we see that coming??? Okay, time to turn tail and run. *headdesk*

Day 35 – Entry 22
I’m home again! Aw no hug... Must be because Colonel Skinner is here... *stinkeyes Skinner*

Day 35 – Entry 23
OMG! Why am I standing out in the balcony with Rodney??? I should be watching our destruction with Elizabeth... because it’s romantic.

Day 35 – Entry 24
Omigod! Zelenka’s rambling gave me an idea! *ping* Fake-out KABOOM! = No more Wraith! I hope...

Day 35 – Entry 25
ZOMGWTF??! Ford totally defied my order!!! Now I know how Elizabeth feels... *headdesk*

Day 35 – Entry 26
This sucks! Like I don’t angst enough, now I have to angst over Ford! *woobies*

Day 35 – Entry 27
Oh yeah, Elizabeth just reminded me that we can have surviving-doom sex the city is safe now. OMG! Yay!



Colonel Steven Caldwell

Day 1 – Entry 1
Huzzah! Colonel Skinner is here to save the day!! Now if only Sheppard would de-cloak his ship so I can save his ass. Rawr!

Day 1 – Entry 2
OMGWTF?! Our awesome warheads aren’t even touching the Hive ships!! *pulls on imaginary hair*

Day 1 – Entry 3
Note to Novak: I am Colonel Skinner. I do not ph33r puny nekkid aliens!! They ph33r m3!! Ask Mulder.

Day 1 – Entry 4
Twelve hive ships are headed towards us and Major IHaveHair wants to fight them with UNO ship??? WTF?! Why do I always end up working with crazy people??? *headdesk*

Day 1 – Entry 5
ZOMGWTF?! That’s it??? We come to blow up TWO ships and run??? Dude, we’re not playing a video game here! This is REAL LIFE!! STFU! Stargates and Aliens are all REAL!!!! I WANT TO BELIEVE!!!!

Day 1 – Entry 6
Beam this here. Beam that there. Beam a nuke above the city. WTF am I? Genie Skinner?? Don’t even start with my shiny head.



Doctor Rodney McKay

Day 31 – Entry 5
Sheppard esploded a Wraith Hive ship!! OMG!! Yay!!! There’s still one more left. Dammit! *headdesk*

Day 31 – Entry 6
Am I dead??? Because I think I just heard that the Daedalus is here!!! O_o

Day 31 – Entry 7
*sees ZPM beamed down* OMG!YAY!!!mylittleZedPM!!!!

Day 31 – Entry 8
WTF?! I only get two pansies to escort me to the ZPM room?? I am Doctor Coward McKay! I should have a whole battalion protecting me!!

Day 31 – Entry 9
OMG!! My escorts just got shot! *flails* I’m a dead man!!! No! I will face the Wraith!!! RAWAR!!!

Day 31 – Entry 10
Fuck me... I just released my gun clip. OMG!!! SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEE!!!

Day 31 – Entry 11
OMG! TEYLA, I LOVE YOU!!!! And she thought I was brave! Heehee! McTeyla anyone??

Day 31 – Entry 12
Note to Teyla: Now that I’ve thanked you for saving my life. Can you lead the way to the ZPM room? Because I’m chicken shit.

Day 31 – Entry 13
Note to Elizabeth: OMFG!! Do you want to give me a heart attack??! Don’t rush the goddamn genius because I might just SNAP!

Day 31 – Entry 14
OMFG!!! 20 seconds and I’m a dead man. ZPM! Go down the damn hole! *ZPM finally goes down* Oh, thank you! *faints*

Day 31 – Entry 15
Teyla is a bossy bitch... I kinda like that... *_*

Day 31 – Entry 16
Zelenka, I hate you. Not only do you deprive me of sleep, but you tell me there are twelve hive ships coming to blow us up. I hate you, just because I love can. ZOMG! I’m not a gay dead man!!!

Day 31 - Entry 17
Ooh, shiny purty lights! *eyes glaze over* What was I supposed to do again? Oh yeah, save the city from Wraith...

Day 31 – Entry 18
OMG! We can make the city invisible even though we’ll be completely unprotected... I’m a genius! even though this was sort of Sheppard’s idea...

Day 31 – Entry 19
Note to Wraith: Please be dumb and fall for our fake-out trick so we can have another season. Kthanxbai!

Day 31 – Entry 20
Note to city cloak: Please work. Please work. Please work. PLEASE WORK!!!!

Day 31 – Entry 21
WTF?! The Stargate is activating!! I don’t want to die!!!

Day 31 – Entry 22
Omigod! The Wraith are stupid and I’m still a live! Yippee!



Doctor Elizabeth Weir

Day 34 – Entry 5
Blip!Sheppard just disappeared from the monitor! *cries*

Day 34 – Entry 6
ZOMG! I just lost my boyfriend and now Not!Grodin Chuck tells me there’s another ship?? *pulls hair*

Day 34 – Entry 7
ZOMG!!!eleventyone!!111!! It’s Sheppard!!!! He’s alive!!! Squee!!!! Oh, and yay! ZPM!

Day 34 – Entry 8
Note to McKay: STFU about the security escort and put up the damn shield already!!!

Day 34 – Entry 9
Last Hive ship gone! Huzzah!!

Day 34 – Entry 10
Great, now a gabillion Wraith darts are using us as kamikaze practice. *headdesk*

Day 34 – Entry 11
ZOMG! Rodney, STFU!!! Put the gawd damn ZPM in the slot already!!!!

Day 34 – Entry 12
The shield works! The darts are going splat like bugs on a windshield. Bwhahahaha! Ooh, Sheppard wants Radio!Sex. *bg*

Day 34 – Entry 13
Squee! John is back!!! This is the closest I’ll ever to get to sex on this show so I’m gonna hug him like there’s no tomorrow. *hugs John* [Shippers: reloops scene for the billionth time.]

Day 34 – Entry 14
Twelve more hive ships???!!!eleventyoneoneone11!! Note to TPTB: You guys suck sour lollipops! *shakes fists*

Day 34 – Entry 15
Note to Ford: Please do NOT sneak up on me! Your fucked up eye is really... *twitch* fucked up and fugly. *twitch twitch*

Day 34 – Entry 16
OMG!!! Ford snuck up on me and his fucked up eye totally scared me again!!! Oh yeah, he almost killed Beckett too!!! *headwall*

Day 34 – Entry 17
Yay! John is home... with more bad news. *headdesk*

Day 34 – Entry 18
Option 1: City + Shield = Wraith shooting the crap out of us.
Option 2: City – Shield + Nuke + Invisibility cloak = Wraith thinks we’re dead and go away... maybe.
Is there a third option like Wraith all suddenly DIE?! I’m just sayin’!

Day 34 – Entry 19
OMG! We are about to be blown out of the water and John is going after Junkie!Ford???! WTF?!

Day 34 – Entry 20
Note to John: ZOMGWTF?! I’m the boss!!! PH33R M3!! Bastard, he didn’t listen to me. *facepalm*

Day 34 – Entry 21
Teyla’s message sent? Check. Non-essential personnel on the Daedalus? Check. Computers all shut down? Check. Nuke detonated? Check. Stargate turning on? OMGWTF?!! SHUT IT OFF!!!

Day 34 – Entry 22
OMGWTF?! Stupid Ford because you gave us all a heart attack for escaping, I vote you off the island! Even though you’re gone already...

Day 34 – Entry 23
Sheppard angsting over Ford is hot! But I should comfort him with sex.



Techie Chuck

Day 5 – Entry 2
Ack! Major Sheppard esploded! Ack! There’s another ship in orbit!! *flails*

Day 5 – Entry 3
Yay! Major Sheppard is alive! Yay! The Daedalus is here! Yay! Oh noes! Teyla, Lieutenant Ford, and Captain Radwho? Disappeared!!! *flails*

Day 5 – Entry 4
Last Hive ship is neutralized! Yay! Hehe! Neutralized I like that word! *g*

Day 5 – Entry 5
OMG!! The gabillion ten hive ships are here! *flails again* Damn I’m flailing a lot this episode... *headdesk*



Colonel Dillon Everett

Day 2 – Entry 3
OMFG! Dinky side arms are useless to a hungry Wraith! *gets feed on* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOMMY!!!

Day 2 – Entry 4
Ha! You all doubted me and called me Red-Shirt! I’m still alive!!! *coughs* But now I’m like 100 years old. Ugh. Damn Wraith.

Day 2 – Entry 5
Dammit, now I have to apologize to Sheppard and I have no chance with Weir now. I totally lOSE in Life!!! *headpillow*



Daedalus

Day 1 – Entry 1
My first appearance ever and I’m getting shot at by small pointy ships??? F33R M3 little pointy ships! Yes, I am ignoring the other ginormous hive ship out there. Lalalalala *shoots all darts*

Day 1 – Entry 2
Der, I’m just a spaceship, but don’t you guys think 12 hive ships against one little me is a good idea???

Day 1 – Entry 3
I told you this wasn’t a good idea. Now I’m all hurting and need repairs. *sads*



Doctor Lindsey Novak

Day 1 – Entry 1
Yeah, I think everyone on Prometheus got sick of my hiccups and sent me here... to another galaxy... But that’s okay because I only hiccup when I’m nervous! *hiccups* OMFG! *headdesk*

Day 1 – Entry 2
OMGWTF?! Colonel Caldwell wants me to tell giant head Hermiod to override the weapons delivery system?? Hermoid can kill me with his mind!!! *flails*

Day 1 – Entry 3
Note to Hermoid: Please don’t kill me with your brain because ZOMG! I’m just following orders!! *flails*



Hermiod

Day 1 – Entry 1
Dear Novak! STFU! I already know human are upid-stay!!! Now let me ow-blay up-ay the aith-Wray.

Day 1 – Entry 2
ie-Day aith-Wray! Ie-Day! *beams nukes into Wraith ship*

Day 1 – Entry 3
Here we go again... owing-blay aith-Wray!

Day 1 – Entry 4
Ugh... Stupid small brain humans, your plan only worked twice. So now there are TEN hive ships that still want to suck the life out of you. Good job! Why are we helping you humans again?



Kleinman

Day 1 – Entry 1
Der, I’m just the weapons officer, but because I’m hot I get my own entries. *bg*

Day 1 – Entry 2
*arms two more warheads* Er, How many warheads do we have because our weapons SUCK!! The pointy ships keep blowing them up first.

Day 1 – Entry 3
I admit. My ass is glued to this chair for the next two episodes. Then I’ll disappear and reappear again! *gasps*



Teyla Emmagan

Day 30 – Entry 2
Hee! I’m alive! I just got lost on my way back broke my radio, and heard McKay screaming, so I saved him. Yay!

Day 30 – Entry 3
We have a ZPM! Yay! Damn, McKay for making me take the lead... *grumbles*

Day 30 – Entry 4
Note to McKay: Just because you plugged in a ZPM doesn’t mean your work is done. Hrmph! Chop! Chop! Time to work!

Day 30 – Entry 5
“They are angry.” WTF kind of line is that???! I don’t want to be the token Alien babe that says all the obvious lines, dammit! *wears a shorter shirt next episode*

Day 30 – Entry 6
Who think it’s lame that I get to “send a message” to the Wraith and make them “think” we are going to blow up the city? *raises hand* Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Day 30 – Entry 7
OMG! I see dead people Wraith! Actually, I see dead people too they are all along the walls... ZOMG! I’m not a freak...



Doctor Radek Zelenka

Day 10 – Entry 4
Oh noes! The Wraith are going to make Atlantis KABOOM! If McKay doesn’t get the ZPM working in time! >_<

Day 10 – Entry 5
OMG! Yay! The shield works! Look fireworks!! Ooh!

Day 10 – Entry 6
ZOMG! Major Sheppard is yelling at me again! I don’t know where the frell Ford is!!! I don’t like working around cranky people!!! >_<

Day 10 – Entry 7
Der, Lieutenant Ford is swimming drowning in the freezing cold ocean... R.I.P Ford! *sobs*

Day 10 – Entry 8
D’oh! Ford isn’t dead yet... but there are twelve hive ships coming our way... *headconsole*

Day 10 – Entry 9
*sigh* It’s Why am I always in a Jumper or the Jumper bay? Wait a second, does this mean I don’t have a lab of my own? Fine! I claim Jumper 5 as my laboratory! *nods*



Doctor Carson Beckett

Day 24 – Entry 2
OCH! There’s a Wraith attached to Lieutenant Ford!! Eep!!! *is scared*

Day 24 – Entry 3
Dear Lieutenant Ford,

Why aren’t you dead??!

Dr. Confuzzled Beckett

Day 24 – Entry 4
Note to Ford: GET AWAY FROM ME YOUR MOTHEREFFING FREAK!!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!!!! *flails*

Day 24 – Entry 5
OMGWTFChocolateChipCookies!!!11!! Who knew a mug can knock someone out??!

Day 24 – Entry 6
Der, Aiden is pointing a gun at me... and ZOMG! He just almost shot me! Fine take your drugs and get away from me!!

Day 24 – Entry 7
Eep! Now I have to tell Elizabeth that Junkie!Ford ran away! *facepalm*

Day 24 – Entry 8
Why am I alone with Teyla in the infirmary? Shouldn’t there be an S.O. or something to protect me in case Teyla get’s possessed again?? What? I don’t want another headache!!

Day 24 – Entry 9
Note to Teyla: Everytime you connect to the Wraith. YOU SCARE THE CRAP OUTTA ME!! *twitch*


Note: There is some Pig Latin in this chapter.
Tags: season 2
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