AthenaKTT (athenaktt) wrote in vsaj_online,
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2x02 Intruder


Intruder


Doctor Elizabeth Weir

Day 35 – Entry 1
ZOMG! I’ve been staring at this blue screen blue streaks for an hour and I still can’t fall asleep. Der, the coffee is not helping either... *headtable*

Day 35 – Entry 2
Ooh, John is here. Maybe we can have Table!Sex Eye!Sex to pass the time.

Day 35 – Entry 3
*rolleyes* John is adorkable when he’s squeeing about being a Lieutenant Colonel, but STOP already! and lets have Table!Sex now! Rwar!

Day 35 – Entry 4
Aww, John is wondering why I’m still up. I’m up because I need sex the sound of the ocean.

Day 35 – Entry 5
Dammit! I was this close to Table!Sex!!! But nooooo Dr. Moron Monroe had to get himself killed! Argh!!! Hateful!

Day 35 – Entry 6
Note to Skinner Caldwell: You may be the boss of the Daedalus, but I still have better hair than everyone on this ship... Even Shep!Hair ph33rs me.

Day 35 – Entry 7
Yo, Colonel Skinner! Remember that flashback we just had. Yeah, Landry also ph33rs me, so you and everyone are my bitches, aite! *Lizzie!Brow of Doom*

Day 35 – Entry 8
Skinner Caldwell needs to stop staring at me when we go to flashbacks it’s freaks me out!

Day 35 – Entry 9
I take the last entry back. Simon’s new hair freaks me out! Thank God, my new boyfriend has better hair and a better body.

Day 35 – Entry 10
I also forgot to add Simon is an asshole with bad hair. Icky!

Day 35 – Entry 11
Simon is an asshole.

Day 35 – Entry 12
OMGWTF?! Wraith computer virus??? Okay, who opened the email with the heading “Wraith pr0n?” *stinks eyes Sheppard*

Day 35 – Entry 13
Oh noes! Sheppard ship is flying further away!!! Think fast!... Transport beam! McKay, needs to beam my boyfriend back now!! Rwar!

Day 35 – Entry 14
Yay! My boyfriend is back with all his manly parts still intact... I think... will have to check later. *wink*

Day 35 – Entry 15
Aww, “John Sheppard Book of Computer Repair” my boyfriend is so cute! *would jump him if I could* lalalalaa

Day 35 – Entry 16
OMG! Yay! Lights are off! *jumps Sheppard*

Day 35 – Entry 17
Did I mention Simon is an asshole?

Day 35 – Entry 18
OMGWTF?! Rebooting didn’t work! Now we’re all going to get a nice tan before we die. *headdesk*

Day 35 – Entry 19
Note to McKay: We all saw the SG-1 episode read the mission reports about the entity that took over Colonel Carter. Now get to the damn point! The episode is almost over! *headdesk*

Day 35 – Entry 20
Note to Wraith Virus: STOP TRYING TO KILL MY BOYFRIEND! Go kill Simon or something because he’s an asshole. *Lizzie!Brow of Doom*

Day 35 – Entry 21
OMFGWTF??! *shakes Hermiod* Don’t shut off the movie when it’s getting good! I need to see how my boyfriend dies kills the bastard! *angsts*

Day 35 – Entry 22
Note to Hermiod: You suck. It is not funny to give me heart attacks by saying John is dead. If we didn’t need you to fly this ship, I’d throttle you. *stinkeyes Hermiod*

Day 35 – Entry 23
We’re finally home! *eyefucks Sheppard because this episode needs more eyefucking*



Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard That’s right, LIEUTENANT COLONEL, eat that, biotch!

Day 36 – Entry 1
I can’t sleep... so I’m gonna get some coffee. Wait, shouldn’t I be drinking warm milk or something instead?

Day 36 – Entry 2
Hee! Elizabeth is awake too maybe “coffee” isn’t such a bad idea. *bg*

Day 36 – Entry 3
Note to Self: Elizabeth wears the pants in this relationship. Elizabeth wears the pants in this relationship. Elizabeth wears the pants in this relationship. Do not mention the “burden of command” to Elizabeth again. Elizabeth wears the pants in this relationship... *headdesk*

Day 36 – Entry 4
Note to Doctor Monroe: You have AWFUL timing! Next time don’t die in the middle of a nice shippy moment between me and Elizabeth. RWAR!

Day 36 – Entry 5
OMGWTFLITTLEGREENMEN?! THE ALIEN IS NEKKID!!! Yes, I’m juvenile like that. *headdesk*

Day 36 – Entry 6
No, seriously, where is Hermiod’s pants? Even Marvin the Martian had a skirt and tights... Er, bad example, now he just sounds gay...

Day 36 – Entry 7
Ha! I was right! Someone is committing sabotage! But since I don’t have anything useful to say anymore, I’ll just stand in back quietly and stare at Weir’s ass.

Day 36 – Entry 8
ZOMG! I swear I didn’t click on the Wraith pr0n E-mail! The red-shirt did it! And no, I didn’t kill him as cover-up...

Day 36 – Entry 9
Note to McKay: Your plan to stop the distress signal sucks. My plan is faster and has more esplosions! And I get to impress Lizzie with my Flyboy skillz! My plan pwns yours! Rar!

Day 36 – Entry 10
Huzzah! Transmitter went Kablooey!

Day 36 – Entry 11
*headconsole* The Force is not with John... I can’t turn the ship around...

Day 36 – Entry 12
Note to Elizabeth: Your pep talks suck, but I love you anyway I’m bored so I’ll start angsting about Ford and how his cousin was such a bitch to me. That h0r!

Day 36 – Entry 13
“Rodney seems to think you’ll be okay” translation “John is a dead man.” *headconsole*

Day 36 – Entry 14
OMG! I’m a live! Two arms. Check. Ten fingers. Check. Awesome hair. Check. Two legs. Check. Ten toes. Check. Manly parts... I think Lizzie wants to check later. *bg*

Day 36 – Entry 15
Wait a second! Wasn’t I sitting in the cockpit when I was beamed out?! Why am I standing now? Oh right, it would looks stupid to see me fall on my ASS when I’m beamed onto the bridge. *facepalm*

Day 36 – Entry 16
That’s it? Just “reboot” the computers? Is McKay really a genius??

Day 36 – Entry 17
Figures it wouldn’t work... Time for ME not McKay to save the day! To the Batcave Fighter Bay!

Day 36 – Entry 18
Note to McKay: I know you are trying to protect your manly parts like you have any, but dude WTF?! You look like a five year old that needs to pee! *facepalm*

Day 36 – Entry 19
Actually, McKay looks more like someone kicked him in the balls. *giggles* OMG... I didn’t just giggle... *headwall*

Day 36 – Entry 20
OMGWTF?! How many times do I have to cheat death? What is this Final Destination: Atlantis???

Day 36 – Entry 21
Rodney, STFU and watch as I fly us dangerously close to the coronasphere and turn us into mutants kill the bastard. >_<

Day 36 – Entry 22
Huzzah! Virus is dead! And Rodney is red. Ooh, that rhymed! *chants*

Day 36 – Entry 23
Yay! We’re home! Time for WeareHomeSex.



Doctor Carson Beckett

Day 25 – Entry 1
Och, Doctor Monroe is heavy. I’m the Chief Surgeon. I shouldn’t be lifting dead bodies on to gurneys! I should be hiding in my lab from stuff... yeah...

Day 25 – Entry 2
Note to Rodney: I only have a couple scenes in this episode. So wear your damn oxygen mask! So I can do all the talking. Grrr.

Day 25 – Entry 3
Note to Colonel Caldwell: Don’t look at me about the selection process! I couldn’t pick anyone because everyone made me feel dumb. *woobies* P.S. Doctor Weir knows how to base-jump so be smart and ph33r her!

Day 25 – Entry 4
Yay! We’re home! Now I can continue hiding for a few episodes! Wheee!

Day 25 – Entry 5
WTF? Do I have moisturizer?? Who am I the Avon Lady?

Day 25 – Entry 6
Actually, I do have moisturizer… *facepalm*



Colonel Steven Caldwell

Day 2 – Entry 1
Meh, some nerd doctor died today... He probably spilled coffee on the console and electrocuted himself. *snickers*

Day 2 – Entry 2
Note to McKay: We are not dropping out of hyperspace, and YES that is my final answer! RWAR!

Day 2 – Entry 3
Note to Weir: On the Daedalus, I AM THE BALDEST BOSS!!!!! Why doesn’t anyone listen to me???! *headwall*

Day 2 – Entry 4
“Are you sure that’s what this is all about?” ZOMGWTF?! Did Weir just sass me? That h0r! So what if I didn’t get the job I wanted...because Landry totally ph33rs Weir. I’M STILL THE BOSS HERE, GODDAMMIT!!

Day 2 – Entry 5
OMFG! We have to drop out of hyperspace now... Dammit, McKay was right. *headdesk* I’m not apologizing!

Day 2 – Entry 6
Another nerd bites the dust! Ahahaha! Because I don’t trust all these saboteurs nerds. I’m sending them ALL too their rooms. Bwhahahah!

Day 2 – Entry 7
Stupid Atlantis kids, downloading pr0n stuff all day... Now we got a freakin’ virus! A freakin’ WRAITH virus, WTF is that??

Day 2 – Entry 8
OMGWTFBBQ!!! Stupid virus is broadcasting a distress call and Sheppard wants to shoot my baby?? Bastard!

Day 2 – Entry 9
Crap, Sheppard’s in a renegade ship... Better beam him back quickly before Weir goes on a rampage...

Day 2 – Entry 10
ZOMG! Are Sheppard and Weir having Eye!Sex in front of me??? Why does this feel familiar? *headdesk*

Day 2 – Entry 11
Note #1 to Wraith Virus: GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN SHIP!!! RAWR!

Day 2 – Entry 12
Note #2 to Wraith Virus: %@$^@* It is not funny to give me back my ship for 2 seconds and take it back you Indian giver!

Day 2 – Entry 13
Note #3 to Wraith Virus: Now you want me to fucking fry?? What kind of sick virus are you? (No pun intended...)

Day 2 – Entry 14
Note to Doctor Weir: Can you tell Sheppard to stop Almost!Dying?! Because it’s getting BORING! Rar!

Day 2 – Entry 15
Blah, blah, blah. We lost contact with Sheppard again. I don’t care. I just want my ship back. Dammit.

Day 2 – Entry 16
Skywalker shot the fighter. About time! Now we can go home. Woot!



Doctor Rodney McKay

Day 32 – Entry 1
Stupid Doctor Monroe. Just when I was enjoying my sixteenth day geeking out on the Daedalus you go and die. You suck you dead person you! *raspberries*

Day 32 – Entry 2
OMG! Something killed Monroe! We have to drop out of hyperspace now and risk getting detected by the Wraith. *headdesk*

Day 32 – Entry 3
Note to Hermoid: Hermiod, you’re naked. I am not. Who’s more civilized now, huh? Biotch!

Day 32 – Entry 4
OMG! I almost died!!! *hyperventilates* Okay, bad idea to breath heavily around leaking coolant. *headdesk*

Day 32 – Entry 5
OMFSTARS! Red-shirtwithaname just got sucked out the airlock!!! Linstrom, esplode rest in peace.

Day 32 – Entry 6
This sucks. I’m getting bossed around by a NEKKID ALIEN!!! *headdesk*

Day 32 – Entry 7
WTF?! It’s a Wraith computer virus! *headdesk* Didn’t I tell everyone to NOT open any Wraith E-mail spam even if it was pr0n??? Argh! *headconsole*

Day 32 – Entry 8
*pulls hair* Now the virus is transmitting a distress signal. Fingers must type faster! Sheppard needs to STFU with his questions. Rar!

Day 32 – Entry 9
Note to Elizabeth: Please don’t kill me when I tell you that we might not be able to bring Sheppard back.

Day 32 – Entry 10
Shepard is back. Thank God. Now I won’t die by Elizabeth’s hand... today. *twitch*

Day 32 – Entry 11
Would this be a bad time to say that I don’t know how to get rid of the virus? *twiddles thumbs*

Day 32 – Entry 12
*light bulb* When nothing in else works, Restart! Wheee!!

Day 32 – Entry 13
It worked! It worked! It worked for 2 seconds... *sobs*

Day 32 – Entry 14
OMGWTF???!Asgardsarenekkid!!! Sheppard is a crazy Mofo, yo! Beaming us into the fighter bay from INSIDE the ship is impossible! We might get stuck between a wall and look like Carbonite!Han Solo... I don’t want to be a wall decoration! *whines*

Day 32 – Entry 15
STFU!! I don’t need to pee! I’m protecting my family jewels!

Day 32 – Entry 16
OMG! We’re in the fighter bay in one piece! Der, why are the fighter bay doors opening?????!!!

Day 32 – Entry 17
I’m... NOT a dead man!! Woohoo! GinormousHead saved us! Damn, now I owe the skinny little alien. Grrrrr...

Day 32 – Entry 18
OMFG! The Bay shield is going down! I would pee my pants if I hadn’t already peed during the FIRST scaretheshitoutofMcKay attempt.

Day 32 – Entry 19
Ooh F-302... Ooh Claustrophobia settling in… *flails and hyperventilates*

Day 32 – Entry 20
OMG! Is the plane moving? I think I’m going to throw up...

Day 32 – Entry 21
Great, not only am I a dead man, but I’ll be a mutated burnt dead man. Thank you, Sheppard. *hates on Sheppard*

Day 32 – Entry 22
Finally, the ship is dead and I’m red... OMFG! I am going to kill Sheppard! Now I have that rhyme in my head. *headdesk*

Day 32 – Entry 23
Damn, my skin is peeling. Where’s SPF 100 when I need it??



General Hank Landry

Day 1 – Entry 1
Now I know why Jack sent Weir to Pegasus. She’s scary!! I thought she was going to beat me silly if I didn’t promote Sheppard. o_O



Hermiod

Day 2 – Entry 1
Note to McKay: See my ginormous head that is waaaaay bigger than yours? That means I’m SMARTER THAN YOU! Now stop walking around, you’re giving me a headache! RAR!

Day 2 – Entry 2
Note to Colonel Sheppard: I’m nekkid and proud! So deal with it, you infantile man! Now go comb your hair! Rawr!

Day 2 – Entry 3
Haha! Stupid humans, leave it to the nekkid alien with the ginormous brain to find the virus. Suckas! Bow to me! Especially you, McKay.

Day 2 – Entry 4
Ah, simple human computers. When all else fails press ESC and Reboot.

Day 2 – Entry 5
Too bad it DIDN’T WORK! Now we will all die of radiation... how charming. *ginormousheadconsole*

Day 2 – Entry 6
Bwhahaha! My quick thinking saved McSmallBrains and ShepNakedAliensScareMe. I totally PWNED them!

Day 2 – Entry 7
Crap, lost control of the ships. Damn Wraith virus! *shakes tiny fists*

Day 2 – Entry 8
Note to stupid humans: I am getting sick of pressing the Restart button. Get this right already dammit! RAR!



Doctor Lindstrom

Day 1 – Entry 1
Er, Didn’t Monroe die in working in front of a console that looked exactly like this? I’m just sayin’.

Day 1 – Entry 2
Damn you, Rodney! You ran out the door before I could make it! Now I’m stuck in this small room with a frozen hand! *shakes frozen fist*

Day 1 – Entry 3
Dear Red Button,

PLEASE WORK GODDAMMIT!!!!

Still pressing the button,
Being a Red-Shirt Sucks!

Day 1 – Entry 4
OMFG! This is probably the worse red-shirt way to die… *gets sucked out into space*



Simon Wallis

Day 3 – Entry 1
I’m back! Sorta... I’m such a loser that I only get to return to Atlantis as an illusion or a flashback… AND I have the ugliest hair EVAR! Yes, I lose in Life, Monopoly, Candy Land, and Operation. *headdesk*

Day 00 – Entry 00
Dammit, even during a “romantic” dinner, Elizabeth is wearing a grandma dress... Where’s the skanky sexy little black dress???

Day 00 – Entry 00
Because I lose in Chutes and Ladders too, I’m going break up with Elizabeth. Even though I should have did this THREE weeks ago. *facepalm*

Day 00 – Entry 00
Yes. I sucksourlollipopsthathavebeenrollingaroundsmellydogdoodoo AKA Biggest Asshole in Two Galaxies.



Daedalus

Day 2 – Entry 1
Wheee! Flying to Earth!

Day 2 – Entry 2
Whee! Flying back to Atlantis!

Day 2 – Entry 3
Whee! Hyperspace blue screen streaks!

Day 2 – Entry 4
After 16 days of hyperspace I’m getting bored...

Day 2 – Entry 5
Oy, I feel sick... I think I need a break.

Day 2 – Entry 6
Yay, I’m out of hyperspace and some guy just flew out of the airlock... That can’t be good.

Day 2 – Entry 7
I still feel sick. Why am I sending out a distress signal????

Day 2 – Entry 8
OMGWTF??!StarshipEnterprise!!!oneone!!! An F-302 shot me! I thought we were on the same side! *cries*

Day 2 – Entry 9
Naptime! *gets shutdown*

Day 2 – Entry 10
Aw, no more nappytime :( But I don’t feel sick any more! Yay!

Day 2 – Entry 11
WTF??? WHY AM I FLYING TOWARDS A GREAT BALL OF FIRE!!

Day 2 – Entry 12
*gets shuts down*

Day 2 – Entry 13
*restarts*

Day 2 – Entry 14
That didn’t work I’m still getting a Ship’s Tan... which isn’t really flattering when you’re, you know, BURNT!

Day 2 – Entry 15
*shuts down again* OMG! Third time better be a fucking charm!

Day 2 – Entry 16
Okay, it was... Yay! *is happy again*



Teyla Emmagen

Day 31 – Entry 1
WTF? I’m only in this episode for 1 minute?? This sucks.

Day 31 – Entry 2
OMGWTF?! Colonel Sheppard is eyefucking Doctor Weir in front of me again. *cries* I want a boyfriend too!



Doctor Radek Zelenka

Day 11 – Entry 1
Note to Teyla: Who made you boss of Doctor Weir, huh? She’s my crush, woman, hands off! Rwar!!

Tags: season 2
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