AthenaKTT (athenaktt) wrote in vsaj_online,

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2x03 - "Runner"


Major I-Want-A-First-Name Lorne

Day 1 – Entry 1
Why do I always get stuck with the boring scientists? First, Unas Island. Now I’m in Botanical Hell Gardens. Ugh. I wanna shoot something. Where is Doc Perish Parrish? *las*

Day 1 – Entry 2
Yo, Dendrophiliac Parrish. They are PLANTS! Greenleaf photosynthetic plants! Ooh flower! Pretty!

Day 1 - Entry 3
Okay... That is definitely not a dead plant. *pokes dead Wraith repeatedly*

Day 1 – Entry 4
Help me! I'm in Doctor Weir's office alone with Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard... The UST is hurting me!

Day 1 – Entry 5
Super… I get stuck with Cocoa Butter Man. Who did I piss off? *headwall*

Day 1 – Entry 6
SPF 100???! Seriously, who did I piss off to get this assignment???

Day 1 – Entry 7
*headshrub* Damn, McKay isn't Ford's BFF. I hope we don't find Ford.

Day 1 – Entry 8
Aw shit, I think we found Ford.

Day 1 – Entry 9
Fuck me, Colonel Sheppard isn't responding. Doctor Weir is not gonna be happy... Am I gonna get demoted? *woobies*

Day 1 – Entry 10
*WTFs McKay* Orange radiation suits… talk about a fashion statement. Ahahahhahah *laughs at McKay*

Day 1 – Entry 11
Glees! I get to order people around. *bg*

Day 1 – Entry 12
Oh God, McKay is putting on his helmet... After spending an episode with McKay, I better survive this season and the next and the next and I want a first name, dammit!

Day 1 – Entry 13
You know, McKay sounds like an Orange Darth Vader. *giggles* Er, ROTFLMAO!

Day 1 – Entry 14
Can I sacrifice McKay to appease the God of Wrath?

Day 1 – Entry 15
OMFG! I am seriously going to sacrifice McKay if he doesn't get off his ass! *gets shot* Fuck. *falls down*

Day 1 – Entry 16
My poor head… Oh look, Colonel Sheppard came back by himself. I should have just stayed in the Jumper and save myself from getting shot again. *headwall* Ow, bad idea.

Day 1 – Entry 17
Someone out there hates me. I stayed in the Jumper this time! Now we have Darts coming through the gate?!

Lieutenant Aiden Ford

Day 31 – Entry 1
*singsong voice* Ford and his gun sitting in the tree K-I-L-L-I-N-G. First dead Wraith. Then stabbed Wraith. Then Ford is happy with his new stash of crack!

Day 31 – Entry 2
Ugh. The Atlantis dorks need to leave already. My butt hurts sitting in this tree... Squirrels are scary... o_O

Day 31 – Entry 3
I'm Stealth!Ford I can sneak up on everyone! Boo! *watches McKay scream like a girl*

Day 31 – Entry 4
Holy shit! McKay + Weapon = Very Bad. *takes gun from screaming Girl McKay*

Day 31 – Entry 5

Day 31 – Entry 5
Note to McKay – Part Deux: I DO NOT HAVE ADHD! Oooh Shiny!!

Day 31 – Entry 6
As I was saying, I DO NOT HAVE ADHD and I'm gonna be the hero and save the Colonel and— Ooh Sparklies!!! *glees*

Day 31 – Entry 7
How many times do I have to tell McKay IMMA NOT KRAZEE!!! RWAR!!

Day 31 – Entry 8
Holy mushrooms! I just shot at Mckay… *emos* I just want to keep my supa-powers! *woobies*

Day 31 – Entry 9

Day 31 – Entry 10
Bwhahahha McKay is hanging upside down.

Day 31 – Entry 11
McKay is still going to die. Mwhahahahha Ooof! *gets knocked over*

Day 31 – Entry 12
RAWR! Mano-a-mano fight with… daggers! RWAR!

Day 31 – Entry 13
Stupid Sheppard interrupting my manly fight with Tarzan because he was jealous. Pfft.

Day 31 – Entry 14
WTF?! Sheppard just shot me too! What am I? Target practice? This is bull shit I'm getting new friends. *jumps in Wraith beam*

Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard

Day 37 – Entry 1
Ford is alive! *angsts* I need a hug! But everyone is here so I'll settle for another eyefucking session with Elizabeth. *eyefucks Elizabeth*

Day 37 – Entry 2
Grrr, Rodney needs to stop interrupting my moments with Elizabeth, yo!

Day 37 – Entry 3
Yay, we get to go save Ford!

Day 37 – Entry 4
Crap, Colonel Skinner found me... If I don't see him, does it mean he doesn't see me?

Day 37 – Entry 5
*headwall* He still saw me...

Day 37 – Entry 6
*plugs ears with fingers* Lalalalalalala… Is Skinner still talking? Lalalalalala

Day 37 – Entry 7
*facepalm* Dammit, I should have stayed on the steps! I had the higher ground! I looked manly! But Geezer Skinner tricked me and I walked down the steps. *pouts*

Day 37 – Entry 8
Skinner is scary when he's pissed...

Day 37 – Entry 9
OMFG! Shoot one FBI agent Colonel and they never let you live it down. *sigh*

Day 37 – Entry 10
Note to McKay: STFU about your "fair skin" and the UV Index! You need a goddamn tan, aite?! And Aqua Velva is manlier than cocoa butter, yo!

Day 37 – Entry 11
Hee! Glow sticks marks the spot! And our treasure is... Wraith balls that go boom! Hee! Wait that came out totally wrong…

Day 37 – Entry 12
I think Teyla is hearing things. I don't see Ford. Then again it is freaking dark here. Where's our night vision goggles?

Day 37 – Entry 13
Oh, I see. When I call Ford, he doesn't answer, but when Teyla talks they start running? WTF?! *annoyed*

Day 37 – Entry 14
Holy Macaroni! Teyla got shot and did a flip! She didn't stick the landing, so I'll give her 5 points. Wait... does that mean I'm next?

Day 37 – Entry 15
*gets shot* Yup, I'm next... ughhhhhhh

Day 37 – Entry 16
Owie, my head hurts. I shouldn't have headdesked so much. Hey, I'm all tied up. Kinky. *turns around* Damn, it's only Teyla. Not! Kinky.

Day 37 – Entry 17
Oh Schnapps! Angry!Monkey 11 o'clock and heading towards us! Don't make eye contact! *shuts eyes*

Day 37 – Entry 18
*opens eyes* WTF he's still there, and he's got my gun... I bet he can't talk!

Day 37 – Entry 19
Ookaay… He can talk... and he's military. I think I'm in love. *bg*

Day 37 – Entry 20
Note to self: Don't make the Angry!Monkey cry.

Day 37 – Entry 21
Don't eat me! Take Teyla!

Day 37 – Entry 22
Phew! Angry!Monkey doesn't want to eat us yet... I'll let Teyla convince him since her boobies are bigger she never has any lines.

Day 37 – Entry 23
Yay! Saved by the static radio! Tarzan finally left. He made me feel girly… OMG! Not like that!

Day 37 – Entry 24
WTF?! Did Teyla just feel me up? Talk about weird timing. Pfft Alien women.

Day 37 – Entry 25
Huzzah! Teyla and I will sneak up on the Angry Monkey and beat him down! Okay, maybe not... Ow!

Day 37 – Entry 26
Note to Self: Don't try negotiating with Angry Monkeys. They fling poo shoot you anyway. Ow...

Day 37 – Entry 27
I can't feel my arms. I think Chewbacca's gun pulled it out of its socket…

Day 37 – Entry 28
Note to self: Shoot first. Negotiate later. *facepalm*

Day 37 – Entry 29
So we trade Beckett for Ford. That's a good deal, right? Beckett is going to kill me… I'll let Elizabeth talk to him. *bg*

Day 37 – Entry 30
Elizabeth is awesome. She ordered Carson to come. Hee! After they remove the transmitter from Ronon, I can adopt him as my own! *goes and hides on the cliff*

Day 37 – Entry 31
Operation with out anesthesia. I think I'm going to throw up. *blech*

Day 37 – Entry 32
Aww… Ronon is sleeping. How cute! Must ask Elizabeth if I can keep him. *hee*

Day 37 – Entry 33
I hear gunshots. Must be McKay.

Day 37 – Entry 34
I hear Wraith Darts. Fuck.

Day 37 – Entry 35
Stupid Ford why did you make me shoot you? Why did you go away? Now Skinner is gonna yell at me. *cries*

Day 37 – Entry 36
Pfft! Skinner can yell at me all he wants. Elizabeth still loves me.

Day 37 – Entry 37
Aww, Ronon is stuck here with us! Yay! Awww *sads*

Doctor Elizabeth Weir

Day 36 – Entry 1
Rodney, why do you have such bad timing? This is the only scene I have with John. Let me fuck eyefuck him! RAWR!

Day 36 – Entry 2
ARGH! I hate it when John gets lost off-world! That means I get less screen time. That screen hogging h0r.

Day 36 – Entry 3
I sent John to find Ford and they come back with Ronon. Something is wrong here...

Teyla Emmagan

Day 32 – Entry 1
Lalala, I have a new outfit and it's only the third episode of the season! Teehee!

Day 32 – Entry 2
OMFG!!! Colonel Sheppard is still eyefucking Weir over Ford angst! Look at me new skin baring top, dammit! *hates on Carson*

Day 32 – Entry 3
Rodney needs a tan. I'm going blind standing next to his pasty whiteness.

Day 32 – Entry 4
I give up. Colonel Sheppard is more interested with a Wraith grenade than me. I'm going to look for Ford. At least he liked me. Hrmph.

Day 32 – Entry 5
I found Ford! *gets shot* Then again maybe not...

Day 32 – Entry 6
Hellloooo Hot-dirty-man-with-pretty-intense-I-wanna-jump-you eyes. *swoon*

Day 32 – Entry 7
OMGBBQHOTNESS!!! Ronon angst! I'm in love!

Day 32 – Entry 8
Finally, the Screen h0r lets me talk to Ronon. *flutter eyelids* Please free us Dirty Sexy Man. I'll show you my new outfit. It's shorter than my old ones. *bg*

Day 32 – Entry 9
*swoons again* Ronon finally walks over to my side, so I can finally see him! I think he likes me! Squee!

Day 32 – Entry 10
Dear Colonel Sheppard,

I am over you, and I am NOT grabbing your ass. I just want to free my hands so I can go after a real man.

Future Mrs. Dex

Day 32 – Entry 11
OMG! Ronon is a real Runner! Runners are HAWT! *panties esplode*

Day 32 – Entry 12
Finally Sheppard left. Now I can be alone to seduce chat with Ronon.

Day 32 – Entry 13
ARGH! Colonel Sheppard has horrible timing!

Day 32 – Entry 14
Did Doctor Beckett just tell Ronon to strip? Oh yeah.

Day 32 – Entry 15
OMG! Did Ronon just tell me to strip him??? *brain melts*

Day 32 – Entry 16
I will not stare. I will not stare. I will not stare… Oh hell, the camera is focused on his chest. I'm staring.

Day 32 – Entry 17
Aw, Hot Bod Ronon disappeared! I hope he’s okay. I hope he comes home with us. Hee!

Doctor Carson Beckett

Day 26 – Entry 1
Great, I enter the episode with Teyla glaring at me... OMG! I was just doing my job! It's not my fault Sheppard and Weir eyefucks in front of everyone now!

Day 26 – Entry 2
OWTF?! Elizabeth wants me to operate on a crazy jungle man?

Day 26 – Entry 3
Och, if I do this, I better be the hero of this bloody episode since I'm risking my life to save Teyla, McKay, and Ford while Wraith are on the way...

Day 26 – Entry 4
Colonel Sheppard, I hate you. You're doing all this for a new puppy. *stink!eyes Sheppard*

Day 26 – Entry 5
Oh bloody hell, why doesn’t anyone listen to me? I'm the doctor for crying out loud! Lie bloody down boy! Lie!

Day 26 – Entry 6
Fine, don't lie down! Just don't eat me if you become paralyzed. Oh, if you're paralyzed that means you can't do anything to me. Score!

Day 26 – Entry 7
Oh noes! Wraith Darts! *grabs biggest gun* I don't know how to use this, but it's a big gun!

Day 26 – Entry 8
Er, were did my patient go? Whatever. Teyla protect me! I want to go home.

Doctor Rodney McKay

Day 33 – Entry 1
OMGWTFBBQ! I was late because I was WORKING! Why is everyone snapping at me?? *woobies*

Day 33 – Entry 2
Who's idea was it for me to stand next to Teyla?? I know I'm pale, but do you have to point it out on screen too??

Day 33 – Entry 3
OMG 736??! I don't want to go there! The UV index there can make you glow in the dark! Look at me! I'm already glowing!

Day 33 – Entry 4
WTF? Everyone needs to stop looking at me. I'm NOT THAT pale… am I? *looks as own hands and blinds self* Crap! I need my eyes for seeing!

Day 33 – Entry 5
Noooooo, they can't make me go out into Radiation Land!

Day 33 – Entry 6
Thank my awesome brain for 100 SPF. Mmm… cocoa butter. Eww, is that Aqua Velva I smell?

Day 33 - Entry 7
Note to self: Do not eat sun block no matter how good it smells.

Day 33 - Entry 8
Great, Major I-Don't-Have-A-First-Name skipped "How to capture Crack!Ford" course. *headtree*

Day 33 – Entry 9
OMG! Major I'm-Gonna-Have-Mutated-Kids-Because-I-Don't-Listen-to-McKay, stop judging me! You don't know me!!!

Day 33 – Entry 10
Ha! I have me awesome radiation suit. I will not die of radiation like Major Snarks here. *sticks tongue out*

Day 33 – Entry 11
Crap, I can't see with my helmet on… It's all fogged up!

Day 33 – Entry 12
Um... I'm feeling a bit light headed…

Day 33 – Entry 13
Must… take… helmet… off… before… passing… out…

Day 33 – Entry 14
*removes helmet* OMG! I can breathe! Oh noes! The sun! Ack, breathing or radiation, breathing or radiation, I can't decided! Ahhhhhh! *flails* I need to sit down…

Day 33 – Entry 15
OMGWTFKOREANBBQSTEAK!!!!oneoneone!!! Lorne is shot!!!eleventyone!!!11! *spins around* I'm... getting… dizzy…

Day 33 – Entry 16
OMG! It's Ford! I'm a dead man.

Day 33 – Entry 17
I'm melting!!! It's so hot in this 50-pound rubber suit. And Ford has MAJOR ADHD.

Day 33 – Entry 18
Also Ford you are


Day 33 – Entry 19
OMFGWTF?!! Ford just shot at me!!

Day 33 – Entry 20
Mommy! I just shot the crazy man. *runs screaming like a girl*

Day 33 – Entry 21
*gets caught in a trap* FUCK ME!

Day 33 – Entry 22
*still hanging upside down* STFU FORD! SO WHAT IF I'M UPSIDE DOWN???

Day 33 – Entry 23
OMG FORD IS GOING TO SHOOT ME! *flails wildly*

Day 33 – Entry 24
Crap… blood rush, blood rush, I can't really see clearly! OMG FORD STILL WANTS TO KILL ME! *flails some more*

Day 33 – Entry 25
Oh thank God, I was saved by some caveman.

Day 33 – Entry 26
Lesson of the day: Don't talk to strangers that look like cavemen. They might eat you.

Day 33 – Entry 27
Er, I’m still upside down. Help me? Can a head esplode if you hang upside down for too long???

Colonel Steven Caldwell

Day 3 – Entry 1
I look so awesome with in my jumpsuit and shiny head… Yeah, right. I couldn't get Mulder to ph33r me in an awesome suit and tie, who is gonna ph33r me wearing a jumpsuit?

Day 3 – Entry 2
*sigh* Why do I even try to asserting authority around here? Sheppard is going to ignore me like everyone else...

Day 3 – Entry 3
LMFAO! Sheppard tried to intimidate me by standing on the stairs and tried to be manly, but I wasn't listening so he had to come down the stairs. *bg* Ph33r me Sheppard, I'm taller than you even without hair extensions. RAWR!

Day 3 – Entry 4
Everyone needs to stop calling me Skinner! ARGH!

Day 3 – Entry 5
Sheppard is a sucker. Letting Ford go is going to bite him in the ass later. I bet my shiny bald head on it.

Ronon Dex

Day 1 – Entry 1
Today a Wraith tried to eat me, but I hypnotized them with my Dex Powers so he didn't eat me. But I think he tried to molest me instead...

Day 1 – Entry 2
Fuck! Today a fugly Wraith held me down and implanted a tracking bug in my bellybutton— Er, wrong movie... I mean my neck.

Day 1 – Entry 3
Then they let me run free! So Mr. Smith they can hunt me... *headtree*

Seven Years Later

Hey when you are running from Wraith for seven year you don’t have time to stop and update journals! So STFU!

Day 2 – Entry 1
OMFG! How much longer do I have to run???? I need to shower! I'm so dirty and smelly… Though those are the best weapons to keep people away! RAWR!

Day 2 – Entry 2
Yo, Crazy bandanna dude, I'm dirty and bigger than you. Let me pass! RAR!

Day 2 – Entry 3
*gets stunned* Shit, forgot about the Wraith chasing me... *falls down then runs away from Crazy Bandanna Boy*

Day 2 – Entry 4
This sucks. I capture two people who have crappy equipment. I should just kill them. RAWWR!

Day 2 – Entry 5
Yo, Colonel Messy Hair, my dread PWNS your hair. RAWR!

Day 2 – Entry 6
Stupid Sheppard, why did you have to make me angst about my past?? *emos and rubs more dirt on face*

Day 3 – Entry 7
The hot chick speaks! I wonder if her boyfriend is the Crazy Wraith Stabbing Mofo.

Day 3 – Entry 8
WTF is wrong with these people?! I tie them up and shoot them and they still want to help me? No wonder they are always getting their asses kicked. Whatever. I get the better end of the deal here. Suckers.

Day 3 – Entry 9
Sheppard finally left to get me a doctor. So they can suck out the bug transmitter from my bellybutton… Dammit! Wrong movie again! Grrrr.

Day 3 – Entry 10
Me, Ronon; you, Teyla.

Day 3 – Entry 11
Yo, Beckett. I'm Ronon Dex. I can take any pain! RAWR! So cut me!

Day 3 – Entry 12
Oh fuck, this really hurts...

Day 3 – Entry 13
I will not faint. I will not faint. I… will not… faint… I… will… not… *faints*

Day 3 – Entry 14
I took an involuntary nap. Now I'm ready for Man Fight! RAR!

Day 3 – Entry 15
Aww, man fight over. Look man hanging upside down. *poke poke*

Day 3 – Entry 16
Wow, Atlantis is fancy. But not as fancy as Sateda.

Day 3 – Entry 17
I take that back. Sateda is broken. Atlantis wins in fancy. *cries*
Tags: season 2
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